Monday, December 15, 2008 - Shelby Lyn Allen   (Written five days before Shelby died)

Butterfly Effect

It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wings can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world. - Chaos Theory

Throughout these past couple weeks I've began to not focus on myself so much. I have no need to; things have changed and, in some cases, have ended. I have realized that only because I was able to stop thinking of what was only inside of my world was I able to observe the rest of the world once more. It's not a bad thing to be selfish for awhile in my opinion; it helps you discover the feelings of being in a state of happiness and along with not having to worry about other people, you learn that it truly is an amazing state of mind. But that state definitely does not last forever; it comes and goes, weaving into your life perhaps the same way a needle may move swiftly through a sewer's scrap of fabric.

Now step out of the day to day life with only the people you know. Look at things from the big picture, as if you are watching all of the biotic and abiotic things on this planet. Since I've been out of my world, I've been able to study humans and their interactions once again. By observing, I've came to one very important conclusion about us human beings. We are extraordinarily powerful. We hold the key: the key that makes us rise above all other creatures, that make us so extremely powerful that they practically shudder in fear, and perhaps awe at our presence. What is this "key"? We don't have fangs, we're not giants, we aren't poisonous, we don't have rippling muscles that allow us to jump 15 feet in the air..This key overrules all of those physical traits that other animals have. Our key may be small, but has overwhelming consequences. We, with our conscious minds, are able to make choices.

Choices are a very interesting thing. They can make you the happiest person in the world, or they can lead to your imminent downfall. They have the power to make you or break you, and perhaps the most intriguing thing I've noticed about choices is the amazing chain of events they can possibly ensue. The beauty of choices is that every small thing that may come about because of a choice you make is entirely and completely the person who makes it's fault. It's a power that too many people overlook, or take advantage of.

Every single event, every single thing, comes down to one choice. They can then lead to other choices, other directions. I think of it as a road on a map. There's so many different directions you can choose to go. Whether you're in a big city on the freeway and they are giant choices, that lead to different freeways to different cities, or in a small town where you can lead back to where you were pre-choice, the consequences are inevitable. Take a wrong turn, and you're headed into a bad part of the neighborhood.

Another interesting thing-in all situations, at one point you have the power. You can make the choice. Once you make that choice, however..Sometimes the consequences are out of your control. See, here's the catch about chioces: You aren't the only person in the world that gets to make them. Everybody else makes choices as well..And you can't make choices for them, meaning the effect of your choices can and will overlap with someone else's. Therefore, at one point you may have the power to make a choice..But once you make it the power is transferred to someone else. And whatever happens after that is beyond your control.

The point of this? I want you to be aware of the power you are bestowed as a human being and I want you to try not to take advantage of it, because I know that we all have before, including myself, many, many times. Be smart. If not smart, at least think, maybe even think a long time, before you jump the gun and make a decision.

Because once you make that choice, however small as it is, the chain of events that arise because of it may be beyond your control. And there's nothing left for you to do but ride the ride and hope for the best.